Hi Kuldip. My latest ‘letter’ to you. These ten minutes that I spend every night recounting the day's events make me feel very nice. Better than writing as I don’t have to worry about grammar. Therapeutic, you could say. Just a sec. Must make sure that the telephone wire doesn’t get entangled as I make myself comfortable in bed. Came back home tired. When I reached home the damn electricity went and I had a tough time searching out the candles. The kids were at the neighbour's, I let them stay there till the electricity came back. Dinner was a rather low key affair. None of us was hungry so we took the leftovers from the fridge. Ended with some chocolates. Boy, were the kids happy.

With you so far away I have to manage every damn thing. And it is difficult. Sala. If you were here na I’d kick your ass. Oh yes, the day at the office went well. I am training a new batch of freshers. Smart kids. But they try to teach me things. Sala. I feel like telling them one of your favourite sentences but it wouldn’t look nice coming from a lady’s mouth. I am a lady na? Though you have never believed it. And you know what we had for lunch? Chinese. Good stuff. I know, I know. I must count my calories na? Ok baba, I will be careful. Your pretty wife shouldn’t become moti.

The kids are doing well at school. But they miss you. There are times when a mother on her own isn’t enough. I feel that Deepak is growing with each passing day and he doesn’t seem to be impressed by my attempts at controlling him. Luckily Amita is an angel. We are lucky we have a daughter. Though, your father was disappointed that the second child wasn't a boy too. When a family has only male children then home is such a rough and tough place na?

And suno, we may be shifting to a new flat in two months. I don’t like the present landlord. He is too money minded. I have heard that the new place has no water problem at all. Today morning I used soapy water to flush the toilets. Told the kids to do the same too. Can’t bear to see good water going down the loo. Oh yes, the new place has a good community hall and children’s room too. I think Deepak should be given special coaching in chess as he is showing lots of promise. And Amita is good at painting. She draws well. She will be thirteen next year. She is soooo pretty. She’s going to break many a heart.

We are planning a holiday to a natural sanctuary during the Diwali holidays. I was thinking of going to Kanha. But some friends have suggested Bandhavgarh. They say that they liked it better. Will check out both places  on the internet tomorrow. Pata hai I have a new email account,  it is on gmail.  Amrita35.

Aur kya? Yesterday evening I went to the halwai’s and bought some malai barfis. Thought of you when I saw the gulab jamuns. If you were here I’d have bought a kilo and made sure you got diabetes like that horrid uncle of yours. But you must continue with your exercises and stay slim and fit. Sala, lazy bum, don’t smile. Pliss not to ismile. Why phor you laugh? You have no tehzeeb ji. 

Today, when I was returning from office a young twenty something followed me on his mobike. No, not one of those cheapo types. Looked more of a ‘convented’ type. Sala, kept following me. Achcha laga. I had started dreading that  by age 35 I may not be attractive to men. I think when I am forty I must have an affair with a young man half my age. But that will make you jealous na? Come on, be a sport and let me have a fling. Mainey kabhi poocha tumsay?  Nahi na? Isliye bolti hoon tum bhi mujh sey na poochna. Ok? Vidya kasam?
 
And there was a letter from Naresh today. Everybody in my office is jealous of me. They tell me that I am the only one who receives handwritten letters. In this age of the internet and sms Naresh still writes letters. Long and boring. I think he is trying to improve his writing skills. I wouldn’t like to meet him.  Told me he is in Imphal right now.  Reminds me of how we traveled from Jaipur to Shillong.  Remember? We were young then, the kids had not yet been born. Remember that old lady in the compartment? Just the two of us and the old lady. She nearly died when we did all those naughty things. And what fun it was when we got down on the platform at Gauhati and realized that she was none other than Shekhar’s grandma! Sala!

Another of your friends is taking a lot of interest in me. Remember Nitin? Yes, yes, yes, tall, dark and handsome Nitin. He called me and asked me whether I would  like to join him for lunch on Sunday. I cooked up some excuse and told him that I was verrry busy the whole of Sunday. He is nice. I am thinking of saying yes the next time he rings. It gets tiring at times. I need a partner. Sala, you just left us so suddenly. 

I can see the framed photograph on the side table. I, in a white sari, receiving the Ashok Chakra from the President of India presented posthumously to Major Kuldip Singh of the Special Forces for gallantry. Every day without you has been a struggle. But just thinking of you has kept me going. I wanted to make sure the kids are safe. Sala, there are no medals for wives like me. But then, maybe there is Nitin. 
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Note: This story was published in DNA Me on July 23 2006. The links to the pdf files of the published story are given below: (Clicking on these links will open new windows) Page 1, Page 2

My earlier short story:  A room of her own  (A daughter comes back to her parents' house after a year.)